When Can I Let This Mission Stop Beating the Snot Out of Me?

There's this thing I need to do. When I took it on, I claimed it as an important purpose in my life.

I started it. I had good intentions, really. Then something went wrong. The mission started failing.

I began to question if it was time to let go of my purpose.

But I did start it.

I stepped back and asked myself, "why did I start this?"

The surface reasons I rattled off were nice. To be honest, though, what I listed as reasons were mostly the benefits I expected to come. Some reasons, I had to admit, were more like excuses.

The pains and struggles of this journey nudged me toward the edge of giving up. I wanted to stop. But the idea of stopping hurt even more. I was tired, hurting, confused.

I had let the purpose become my enemy. But that wasn't right.

Something in me wouldn't let me let go. Turns out, that something is my purpose. The true purpose of starting this mission was what had been under attack all along. The real enemy was armed with insecurities and doubts, setbacks and disappointments, fears and heartaches.

Yes, I made mistakes. But in spite of my failures and wanderings, the purpose hasn't left.

So now what?

Accept.

That one little word is a powerful weapon. One that has to be handled carefully.

Accept the challenge and act.
Accept the lessons and adjust.
Accept that the power over obstacles is sometimes a direction around.
Accept the purpose as a mission to never let go.

There's this thing I need to do.
 

The Weight of Waiting

Waiting can be so heavy. 

Wait for an end to a hard day or a long ride. That phone just won't ring.  Change promises to come. Answers seem to have boarded a slow boat and you wonder if they're lost at sea.  

Whatever our wait, the weight of it can throw us off balance. But we don't have to fall. Tools are available to help carry the load.

I have this really great pastor who, among other things, teaches us how to apply scripture to our daily lives. Often I don't realize how I'm going to use the tools when I first get them, but it's pretty cool when I reach for something and find it in the toolbox.

One lesson I'm drawing on today is from the book of Matthew. Jesus said,

"29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 11)

Sounds good, right? Well, it sounded even better when I learned Jesus didn't say "yolk" and He wasn't referencing egg slime.

If I have this right, a yoke is a heavy crossbar used to pair animals, like oxen, to better work together. When the animals took on the yoke, it didn't relieve them of the work, but it joined them to pull the load. 

The yoke of Jesus isn't heavy. He did the hardest part. And under Him we are joined. Through Him our burdens are made lighter.

 Well, hello spiritual aha!

He gave even more than Himself. He gave us each other. If we open our eyes we can find someone who cares. We can work together, wait together. Share each other's burdens and joys. He gives us the tools. He helps us carry the weight.

Peace to you & Thanks for reading!!

The Heart of the Matter

There are so very many things for which I am thankful.
At this moment, one thing in particular is hypochondria.
You see, I woke up in the wee hours because it felt like
I was having a heart attack. So I decided to run with it.

No need to worry. I've learned over the years that these
"heart attacks" tend to go away after taking the right amount
of antacid. So I shant be bothering the folks at the emergency
room again tonight.

Still. I have to think. Delusional illness can be an incredible
blessing.

The past few months I've been in a bit of a funk. Okay, I've
been a cranky, whiny beast. My apologies to those stuck
putting up with me and to those I've neglected. Many thanks
to those who stick by me anyway.

Now I'm up at three in the morning having this crazy heart attack.
How appropriate. I'm awakened to the fact that I've been failing
my heart for these past months.  

I love when God spins a good metaphor.


I've let hard things break it, scary things shake it, and doubt came
in to take it. (Sorry. I can't resist a cheesy rhyme.)

Instead of using my heart for good stuff like love and kindness, worship,
grace, and the passionate pursuit of dreams, I let it wallow in funky town.
Turns out it's not as much fun as the song suggests.

I know a real heart attack is a terrible thing. I'm sorry it sometimes
takes an encounter with hypochondria to be reminded what a blessing
good health is. So today I am also praying for your heart, and physical
well being.

As for my metaphorical heart attack, I plan to be actively involved in the
recovery. There are so many good things to be done. This heart is in for
some serious exercise.